Some ideas on how to make everyday life more joyous and EXTRAordinary…

Some ideas on how to make everyday life more joyous and EXTRAordinary…

Take time to smell Roses.
Take a nap on Sunday afternoon.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Never deprive anyone of hope, It may be ALL they have.
If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.
Eat inspiring food. Be thankful for every meal.
Don’t take good health for granted.
Enjoy your job and you’ll never work another day in your life.
Turn to the person next to you and say “YOU’RE GREAT!”
Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
T.G.I.T Thank God It’s Today!
Judge your SUCCESS by the degree to which you are enjoying peace, health and love.
When you lose, don’t lose the LESSON.
Be Generous.
Be Honest.
Be Romantic.
Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of YOU.
Be Gentle with the earth.
Be Gentle with others.
Be Gentle to yourself.
Never interrupt when someone is complimenting you.
Just take a deep breath and say “Thanks – please tell me some more”
Don’t be an a-dull-t.
Allow your child to come out and play.
Take your dog to the obedience school. You’ll BOTH learn a lot.
Don’t nag.
Don’t gossip.
Say THANK YOU a lot.
Think of the most difficult people you know…. And learn to love them.
Don’t postpone joy. There is no time like the present to be JOYOUS.
Stop Blaming others. Take the Responsibility for every part of your life.
Never give up on anyone.
Miracles happen every day.
Remember two things that people cannot take away from you: Your Dignity.Your Birthdate.
Laugh your head off.
Do MORE than is expected and do it cheerfully.
Live life with passion and give others the permission to do the same.
Wake up every morning and say “I am so happy to be alive!” (Even on Mondays  …)
Learn to put love into everything you do.
Take care of your soul.
Breathe – deeply and often.
Life is short…. Play hard.
Remember that no one can make you feel bad without your permission.
Attitudes are contagious… is yours worth catching?
Embrace all your feelings. And choose what to do with them.
Be a friend to Money… not a slave.
You will at times forget these suggestions. You can remember anytime you wish.
Remember to remember.
Notice and Adjust.
Enjoy the Journey.

The choice is YOURS!

U2 - Beautiful Day

Just because....

Human Needs, Buddhist Psychology and Mindfulness

Buddhist psychology—and the Shankya yoga science from which it issues – describes seven psychological characteristics that inform our four life meta-categories (work, relationship, self and spirit) and also map directly to the various needs spectrums found in Western motivational psychology.

We can think of the life meta-categories of work, relationship, self and spirit as occurring in four quadrants. Within these quadrants are smaller categories, like job, love, sex, health, religion, etc., respectively. The way that each of us balances the four quadrants and their sub-categories creates a framework for our lives. To understand how and why we create that balance, we need to consider our underlying motivation.

Theories of human motivation abound. Most of us are familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, as well as Freud’s less rigidly presented spectrum of human needs. William McDougall, William James and Henry Murray have all contributed to this conversation, as has, more recently, Steven Reiss. In addition, Martin Seligman’s positive psychologywould appear to be informed by Jung’s focus on spiritual fulfillment and Frankl’s will to meaning.

Whichever school of thought we subscribe to—whether the implied collection of needs suggested by Freud, the rigorous research of Reiss or the historically derived and empirically demonstrated strengths and virtues cited by Seligman—it is clear that human needs can be identified and that identification, allowing for some difference in perspective and labeling, is fairly consistent over time.

Buddhist psychology identifies seven psychological characteristics: life, order, wisdom, love, power, imagination, understanding and will. These were initially described in the Abhidharma, as well as the Rig Veda, and are remarkably similar to those found in the Western narrative compiled centuries later. Some map directly to the various Western systems and some more indirectly, but the relationship is consistently clear and reasonable.

If one were intent on drawing a direct line between the human needs spectrum described by Buddhist psychology and a Western counterpart, Seligman’s positive psychology would likely be the best choice. This is not so much because of any coincidence in the labeling scheme, but more because of the coincident perspective. Western psychology tends to issue from a place of damage and illness. Seligman’s work in positive psychology has been a relatively antithetical response to that position. Buddhist psychology would similarly have us start from a place of wholeness and perfection.

So, now we get to the question of mindfulness. What makes mindfulness a challenge is that there is no real starting point for witness consciousness, or the objective observation of the 'Self' by the 'self'. That's mainly because the self, or ego, interferes with that process by way of our assumptions, expectations and ideas about the way the world works. Applied mindfulness can be even more of a challenge because, once we get the meta-awareness of witness consciousness going, we need somewhere to point it and very often we don’t know where that is, exactly. So, we may be all “aware” and stuff, but often nothing really changes.

Now, getting back to needs, if we can gain an understanding of our needs and then unravel the dissonance around those needs we then have somewhere to point our mindfulness. The Reiss Motivational Profile, the Meyers-Briggs and the Enneagram are examples of tools that can help us to do this because they force us into a state of pseudo-witness consciousness by asking us to be objective observers of ourselves without (too much) interference from the ego.

For example—and we’ll use the Reiss Profile here because it is fairly clear and easy to follow—let’s say you’re experiencing feelings of an ongoing, non-clinical, free-floating, generalized anxiety. In layman’s terms, you’re freaking out a bit for no discernible reason.

You take the Reiss profile and discover (these are simplistic interpretations) you are Low Order (not much for structure), High Tranquility (don’t like chaos) and Low Vengeance (non-confrontational). Your anxiety may well be, in part, derived from the fact that people who operate with little structure—don’t pick up after themselves, don’t pay bills on time, are tardy for work or social events--naturally invite both chaos and confrontation—messy house, late fees, irate bosses, coworkers, clients and friends.

An unaddressed dissonance around disparate needs creates psychic tension, which here we have labeled anxiety. If we want to backtrack into the Buddhist perspective, we could also say this dissonance is creating a disturbance in the muladhara and atala chakras and the manamaya kosha. This works because Western needs spectrums map quite easily to both the chakra and kosha systems found in the yoga Vedanta. But, I digress…

Without a direct perspective on your needs bias, you would likely point your mindfulness at the symptom (the anxiety)—and that can get a bit murky on both sides of the equation. With a more concrete notion of the source of the symptom, mindfulness techniques can be targeted. And that’s how we can loop back to witness consciousness.

Witness consciousness examines the state of the ‘self’ from the perspective of the ‘Self’. If we consider an understanding of our basic needs as a snapshot of the state of the ‘self’, then we have in hand the objective distance we need to effectively apply mindfulness where it is needed, rather than simply being generally—and likely less effectively—mindful.

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Christina Aguilera - Beautiful (Official Video)

I love this song as it is a reminder of how important each and everyone of us is and the more we appreciate ourselves, the more others can too.

So remember that YOU are the most important person in your world!

How to Motivate Employees Using E.A. Locke's Goal-Setting Theory

In the 1960s, Professor Edwin A. Locke of the University of Maryland identified a link between goal-setting and employee performance. Since then, Locke’s theory of goal-setting and task motivation has become an integral part of the employee management process. Simply stated, Locke found that people are productive when motived by clear goals and appropriate feedback. How difficult, specific and realistic a goal is affects a person’s performance and perseverance in meeting the goal. Unambiguous, measurable stretch goals lead to improved employee productivity and improved self-confidence.

1. Identify the need for or purpose of the goal. It may be a performance or behavior issue or an employee may need to learn a new computer program or process to be more productive or obtain the skills necessary for promotion. The need for the goal should be objective and documented. For example, a worker may regularly arrive late at least twice a week or a new information technology employee must learn a problem-tracking system in order to do his job properly.

2. Meet with the employee to discuss the need for goal-setting. If the need is based on performance or behavior issues, ask questions about her work. Are there process, communication or technology problems? Is she dealing with personal issues that may be affecting her work? Discuss performance standards and ask her to explain her understanding of her responsibilities to ensure that she knows what is expected from her work.

3. Develop an action plan to meet the goals using the SMART model (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-based) created by management consultants Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Specify the what, where and how of the goal. Include concrete before and after measures. Ensure that the goal is both challenging and achievable -- a stretch goal that requires the employee to increase the level or quality of his normal performance but is not impossible to achieve. It must be relevant, relating to his work and the goals or strategic initiatives of the department and organization, as well as achievable within a set time frame. Finally, put the action plan and SMART goal in writing and have the employee sign the document as a demonstration of his commitment.

4. Ensure that the employee has the equipment, supplies and time she needs to achieve the goal. Meet with her regularly to monitor her progress, answer questions, and give direction, coaching and support. Review performance data with her to identify progress or opportunities for improvement. Ask her how she sees her progress toward the goal and invite her to express concerns and ask questions.

5. Meet with the employee at the end of the specified time frame to review the action plan and report on results. If he achieved the goal, recognize his achievement in a positive way. If he made some progress but did not achieve the goal, the goal time frame may be extended or the goal modified as needed. If he failed to meet the goal or showed no commitment to achieving it, progressive discipline may be the next appropriate step.

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Beyoncé - Irreplaceable

Beyonce is well known for her strong messages - what does this convey for you?

How [The STAR Factor] Will Help You Grow Your Business

How chronic stress can affect the brain's size, structure, and how it functions

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Katy Perry - Roar (Official)

I love this song - it talks about moving from 'zero to hero' and becoming a better version of herself. I love the message - would you like to do this?

If Only: Two Dangerous Words

By Katie & Gay Hendricks

The Secret To Lifelong Happiness And Love

I consider “IF ONLY” to be two very dangerous words.

They’re dangerous because they actually distract us from the real cause of our unhappiness.

“IF ONLY” has us looking for answers outside ourselves, forever trying to change how others behave in order to feel better about our own lives.

We believe that our relationships, work and health could be better, if only this person acted a certain way, or if only there weren’t so many obstacles in the way.

It turns us away from the one thing that CAN change how we feel about our lives.

And that is looking within, to how we really feel about ourselves.

Because in order to feel at peace and fully content with our lives, we must first and foremost learn to love ourselves.

But here’s the tricky part:

Most of us don’t even realize that we don’t love ourselves.

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We think “if only” we could make a little more money, we could afford the things that would make us really happy… like remodeling our kitchen, buying a better car or booking a vacation to Hawaii.

If only we could get some cooperation around the house from our partner or kids, we could finally relax and do something nice for ourselves instead of wearing ourselves out keeping things tidy and functioning.

If only we didn’t work such long hours or have such a long commute, we would have the energy to go to the gym and eat better, and take better care of our health.

But the truth is none of those “if only’s” will make us feel happy at all.

Even if we got everything we wanted, there would be something else that would eat away at our contentment, because the “if only’s” are only SYMPTOMS of the real problem.

2 Signs That You Don’t Really Love Yourself

The real problem, and why so many of us feel chronically unhappy with our life, is that we don’t love ourselves.

In order to feel at peace and fully content with our lives, we must first and foremost learn to love ourselves.

And for most of us, it’s hard to know whether or not we truly love and accept ourselves, or if we just think we do.

These two are particularly insidious, because they lie beneath that chronic sense of discontent that can last decades – a lifetime, even. See if you can relate:

SIGN #1: You run yourself ragged trying to be everything to everyone

Your boss sends you a last minute request, and you always do them right away, even when it means missing dinner dates, time with your kids or workouts with friends at the gym.

You offer to watch your neighbor’s dog while he’s on vacation, even though you barely have time to walk and play with your own dog.

You say “yes” even when you don’t have the time, energy or desire, because you don’t want to disappoint the people that count on you.

You think your problem is that you’re not organized enough, that you don’t set good enough boundaries or that there’s just not enough time in the day to do everything you want to do.

Actually the problem isn’t that at all.

The problem is that you don’t love yourself, so you’re always trying to prove something to someone – that you’re a good partner, a good parent or a good employee. Unless you learn to love yourself, you’ll forever run yourself ragged and never feel accomplished.

SIGN #2: You never feel like you’re “enough”

No matter what you do for others, you don’t feel like you’re enough, meaning, you don’t ever feel that people truly love or respect you. Nothing you do is ever enough to make others (or yourself) satisfied for long.

If you’re single, this shows up in that sinking feeling you get whenever your partner is acting distant or you worry over whether or not they’ll call you again. They may have told you they had a nice time on the date, but you won’t believe them. You’re convinced that other people have great relationships, but that you never will.

If you’re in a relationship, it could mean that you seethe with jealousy whenever your partner talks about another person or pays attention to anyone else. You fear being abandoned and you worry about them breaking up with you. You can’t handle criticism and feel like your partner is constantly on your back about something.

At work it means not feeling appreciated or respected for your contribution. At home it can be second–guessing how you treated your kids. Did you say the right thing? Is someone going to think you’re a bad parent?

It could show up as never being happy with how you look or feel and therefore giving up on the habits that can really make a difference in your health.

You may think all these problems are the results of choosing the wrong partner, or having an inconsiderate boss or out–of–control kids. But actually these are all symptoms of a greater problem – that you don’t love yourself.

And it can lead to strained or broken relationships, career setbacks and a whole host of health issues.

Not loving yourself is a symptom of so many personal problems, but there is one solution that can turn everything around.

Learning to Love Yourself Is a Simple Process With a Lifetime of Rewards

You can solve a lot of the problems you’re experiencing in life if you just learn to love yourself.

You don’t have to run yourself ragged anymore. You don’t have to feel inadequate in any area of life, or wonder if you’ll ever be loved the way you deserve.

You just need to learn how to tap into who you really are, and then accept yourself fully.

After over four decades counseling couples, singles, CEOs, celebrities and everything in between, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that plague of self-hatred affects us all.

It affected me too, until I learned the secret to true self-love and acceptance, and completely transformed my life.

I can teach you the secret too, along with other critical skills that are needed to live a fully realized life, with a wonderful partner, and contributing your best potential to the world.

My free newsletter, Hearts In Harmony, will teach you how to be at harmony with yourself, with your loved ones and the world.

I’ve partnered with my life partner, Katie Hendricks, to give you the transformative tools you need to radically change your life.

We’ll teach you all the proven advice, body intelligence, beliefs and commitments to allow you to fully open yourself up to the miracle of love, and the secret to making it last… forever.

You’ll also learn:

• The enemies of love and connection, and the secrets to creating genuine love that only grows better and better over time
• The single biggest catalyst for transformation in life and love, along with a series of tools to help make that change permanent
• How to attract authentic love into your life, and find the partner that is truly compatible with you
• How to end (or prevent) the fighting, loneliness and heartbreak in your relationship

When you learn to love yourself, all your relationships can be transformed. You’ll no longer run yourself ragged, trying to please everyone and never feeling like you’re enough at the end of the day.

Relationships will energize you instead of draining you. You’ll feel self-assured, relaxed and free, at last.

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John Legend - All of Me

This was used during a training course. The suggestion was to imagine the song was being sung directly to you.....by you.

What song's help you feel better about yourself?

The Habits Guide: How to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones

Change your life the easy way with this scientifically–backed resource. The full guide is packed with 45 pages of information about the science of how to stick to good habits and break bad habits.

The guide is filled with proven research on how to make changes, overcome obstacles, and reach your goals. You'll get more than 2 years of research from top behavioral experts distilled into an easy-to-understand guide. For instant access, just enter your email address and click “Get Updates!”

You'll get immediate access to the guide, plus you'll receive new articles every Monday and Thursday about building good habits, breaking bad ones, and living healthy.

What Are Habits?

Let's define habits. Habits are the small decisions you make and actions you perform every day. According to researchers at Duke University, habits account for about 40 percent of our behaviors on any given day. 

Your life today is essentially the sum of your habits. How in shape or out of shape you are? A result of your habits. How happy or unhappy you are? A result of your habits. How successful or unsuccessful you are? A result of your habits.

What you repeatedly do (i.e. what you spend time thinking about and doing each day) ultimately forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray. Everything I write about – from procrastinationand productivity to strength and nutrition – starts with better habits. When you learn to transform your habits, you can transform your life.

This page includes recommended resources on forming better habits and breaking bad ones in any area of life, but if you'd like to explore information on specific types of habits, check out these articles:

• Healthy Eating: The Beginner’s Guide on How to Eat Healthy and Stick to It
• Procrastination: A Scientific Guide on How to Stop Procrastinating
• Focus: The Ultimate Guide on How to Improve Focus and Concentration

3 Ways to Form Better Habits

1. How to Build a New Habit: This is Your Strategy Guide: Read this guide right now to learn 5 easy, powerful strategies for changing habits.
2. The 3 R’s of Habit Change: How To Start New Habits That Actually Stick:  Every habit you have — good or bad — follows the same 3–step pattern: Reminder (the trigger that initiates the behavior), routine (the behavior itself; the action you take), and reward (the benefit you gain from doing the behavior). This helpful framework can make it easier to stick to new habits so that you can improve your health, your work, and your life in general.
3. Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals This Year: Most of the time we set our goals in the wrong way. Read this article to learn how identity-based habits can help you achieve your goals more easily.

3 Ways to Break Bad Habits

1. How to Break a Bad Habit and Replace It With a Good One: Want to learn how to break a bad habit? Read this article to discover the science of breaking bad habits and practical suggestions for making it happen.
2. How Vietnam War Veterans Broke Their Heroin Addictions: By simply removing yourself from an environment that triggers all of your old habits, you can make it easier to break bad habits and build new ones.
3. How to Declutter Your Mind and Unleash Your Willpower by Using “Bright-Line” Rules:  A bright-line rule refers to a clearly defined rule or standard. It is a rule with clear interpretation and very little wiggle room. It establishes a bright line for what the rule is saying and what it is not saying. Most of us could benefit from setting brighter lines in our personal and professional lives.

How to Make a Habit Stick

• How to Stick to Your Goals When Life Gets Crazy: Having a bad day is just one of the tiny emergencies that prevents most people from sticking to their goals and habits. It doesn't have to be that way, though.
• How to Stick With Good Habits Every Day by Using the “Paper Clip Strategy”: Why do some good habits stick while others fail? Read this article about a strategy you use to stick with good habits every day.

How to Build Habits That Last and Design Life as You Want It

Want to learn everything you need to build better habits and break bad ones? I recommend the Habits Academy.

The Habits Academy is the world's most comprehensive course on habits and the science of human behavior. More than 5,000 students have taken the course. Over 40 video lessons are available to Habits Academy students.

Learn more about The Habits Academy.

 Best Habits Books

• The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
• Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey
• Hooked by Nir Eyal
• The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Want more great books on psychology and self-help? Browse his full list of the best psychology books and best self-help books.

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Adele - Hello

This is a beautifully haunting song. It was played at an Aunt's funeral and manages to bring tears to my eyes every time. Any songs that do that for you?

Inside the mind of a master procrastinator | Tim Urban

This is very funny - how do you break the procrastination cycle?

What If You Stopped Sleeping?

I have just had 3 weeks of disturbed sleeping and short nights due to some training I was on - it ended up bringing on a recurring viral infection similar to flu that is my body's way of saying ENOUGH!! How does it affect you?

The Power of Writing to Heal and Improve

Words have power. Writers, intellectuals and influencers have known about the power of ideas for centuries. The written word has enabled people to record events, pass down traditions and has aided us in developing complex reasoning. Writing, in fact, helps us to discover what we already know; it’s the process of streamlining our own ideas, a transformation that starts in our minds and is channeled through pen to paper. Transformation is the key word here, because words have the ability to change our way of thinking and empower us.

This is exactly what Helen Keller found when she discovered the power of words, before which she was feral. “For nearly six years I had no concepts whatever of nature or mind or death or God. I literally thought with my body. Without a single exception, my memories of that time are tactual… I know I was impelled like an animal to seek food and warmth… There is not one spark of emotion and rational thought in these distinct yet corporal memories. I was like an unconscious clod of earth. Then, suddenly, I knew not how or where or when, my brain felt the impact of another mind, and I awoke to language, to the knowledge of love, to the usual concepts of nature, of good and evil! I was actually lifted from nothingness to human life.”

Why write in the first place?

Writing, or more accurately expressive writing, has been used as a form of therapy for decades. It uses the written word to process and refine various emotions. This can manifest itself in a few different forms. For example, James W. Pennebaker’s writing therapy instructed participants to write about a past trauma and their feelings and thoughts that surrounded it. This enabled people to better deal with the trauma they were writing about. And, while writing about the actual event was painful, they found significant resolve, closure and meaning in the experience after having written about it consistently.

Blogging as a means of therapy and self-improvement

Writing, therefore, has a direct link to one’s happiness and the power to improve your emotional as well as spiritual well-being. Traditionally this has taken the form of journaling and writing by hand, but since the explosion of computers and the internet, blogging has become one of the popular forms of expression and release. The ease with which one can create a successful bloghas no doubt contributed to this and led many people to start their own blogs. And while some might scoff at the idea that blogging can have the same benefits that traditional journals or other forms of writing have, there’s hard evidence that says otherwise.

Alice Flaherty, a neuroscientist at Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital, studies conditions such as hypergraphia – a seemingly uncontrollable urge to write constantly – and writer’s block, believes that blogging might trigger a release of dopamine in the brain, similar to stimulants and rewards generated by activities like running, listening to music and playing video games. Nancy Morgan, an author of the Oncologist study advocates that blogging offers similar benefits to expressive writing, and has found evidence of this in people coping with cancer and other serious medical conditions. Having a platform to express yourself, as well as the added ability to connect with other individuals experiencing similar circumstances, is not only therapeutic but allows for an added sense of community and empathy.

Writing to reduce stress

Writing is also a great way to destress. Again, this can take the form of a journal or a blog, but there are a number of reasons why writing can help reduce stress. One of the main problems with thoughts and worries are that they are generally unformed and seem much larger when they’re in our minds. Writing them down helps to shrink them to a point where they are life-sized and manageable. It facilitates problem-solving by allowing you to state very clearly what your problems are, and once seen on paper allows you to confront it in a much more tangible way.

Writing to empower

And, of course, writing can empower you. Whether it’s reducing stress, changing your state of happiness or increasing your knowledge and self-awareness, writing ultimately changes your mind, and that in turn changes your life. If nothing else, writing will remind you that it’s you, and no one else, who is author of your story, the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.

Jumpstart your personal transformation and get on track to build your best life with Goalcast’s new inspirational ebook, Explore Your Potential: Start the Journey to Your Dream Life.

Transformation doesn’t just happen. It takes a plan and a support system. This how-to guide is full of the top wisdom, tips, exercises, and success stories to inspire an old dream or create a new one.

Check out a teaser of what’s inside.

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An Introduction to Surrogate Tapping - Jessica Ortner

I am a big fan of tapping - and of the Ortners whose website has some free stuff on!

I liked this as sometimes we can feel helpless when some is suffering, and in this way, we can still do something.

Be careful though, as you cannot help/take on others issues, because it is their life lesson - not yours, we can however, have them in our hearts wishing them well.

Let me know how you get on!

Do You have what it Takes to be a successful Leader?

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• Discover how to contribute your fullest abilities to the world
• Realize your true potential for leadership and innovation 
• Identify your talents and abilities so you can strengthen them to higher levels 

Figure out the best ways to add value to your family, community, and the world

Take this groundbreaking FREE quiz and uncover your inner leader now!









Great leaders make it a habit to respond in ways that generate the outcomes they want, even during extremely tough experiences or events seemingly beyond their control.


- Jack Canfield






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